


It's okay to cry

by Uncle_Cinnamon



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Mentioned Cinnamon Cookie (Cookie Run), Mentioned Cream Puff (Cookie Run), Mentioned Moonlight Cookie (Cookie Run), Suicidal Themes, fire spirit and wizard have son/dad relationship, wizard is a sad child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:08:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28516164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Uncle_Cinnamon/pseuds/Uncle_Cinnamon
Summary: This work has suicidal themes/ attempt, if this triggers you please don't read!!! I honestly should be continuing writing Changes but- I have most of chapter two done so expect it by next Sunday!!
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	It's okay to cry

**Author's Note:**

> This work has suicidal themes/ attempt, if this triggers you please don't read!!! I honestly should be continuing writing Changes but- I have most of chapter two done so expect it by next Sunday!!

Wizard sighed and glanced around, he currently sat on the top of the clock tower inside the City of Wizards. The clock behind him being the only light aside from the moon. He leaned back and relaxed slightly, the night was peaceful. It was his favourite time of the day, everything was quiet and calm. The sky was beautiful..the stars..the moon, everything worked together and he felt comforted. Here he felt safe. Wizard rested his head on his hand and looked at the moon. Oh how much he admired Moonlight and everything she did. Why couldn't he be like her? She was talented, amazing, she had so many people admiring and respecting her. She was a mastered Wizard and everyone knew who she was. If only he could be like that too…  
He shook his head to himself and sighed again, staring down at the ground below him. That would be a huge fall if he fell.. he'd probably die. He gripped his arm tightly to get him out of that trance. He couldn't think like that. He had so much to learn and so much responsibility. Only a coward takes the easy way out… but the voices hurt. And they got louder and louder..  
You'll never be a good Wizard  
You're just a bratty kid  
You'll never live up to her expectations  
You'll. Never. Be. Like. The. Old. Wizards.  
You'll never be smart  
You're a horrible teacher and Cream Puff is failing because of you  
Cinnamon hates you and they should  
Blueberry will realise how horrible you are and abandon you, she has every right to  
Stop crying, think about how much you've made everyone else cry--!!  
Wizard barely realised he had started crying until the tears soaked through his scarf, he sobbed harder and tightly wrapped his arms around himself. He just let the tears fall, what was the point in hiding them? Hiding his emotions certainly got tiring and he needed a break. No one would believe him if he said he felt like this, and who did he have to turn to? Cream Puff was his student and was stressed as it is, Cinnamon sure, but he wasn't the nicest to them. They likely couldn't care about him. Blueberry... Blueberry wouldn't care. Why should she?  
"Wizard?" A voice called out to the smaller wizard, startling him. Thankfully he wasn't too close to the edge otherwise he might have fallen.  
Wizard looked over and sighed, gripping his robe slightly and moving over to give him space. He quickly wiped his tears and readjusted his hat, moving it ever so slightly so his face was a bit more covered. Someone of this rank certainly wouldn't care, no matter if they were close.  
"Fire Spirit." He greeted with a bow, well as best as he could when he was sitting down. He was one for respect but he wasn't in the mood right now. Far from it.  
"Hey kiddo" Fire Spirit grinned and sat next to him, leaving a bit of space so his heat didn't melt Wizard.  
"Whaddya doing up here?" He asked curiously, immediately regretting it once he read Wizard's expression. It was one he'd seen...and had many times. Sadness, hopelessness, desperation.   
"Oh shit kid... what's up..?" He asked a bit softer, his grin faltering to a frown.  
Wizard sighed and looked at him, shaking his head and looking back at the moon.  
"I don't know.." he mumbled and laughed softly, although there was no humour in it. It was full of sadness and fear. He kept his eyes on the moon, they started to glisten slightly.  
"Kid...talk to me. I know that look. And seeing you up this high... I ain't just abandoning you here." He gently placed a hand on Wizard's shoulder, it was gentle but firm. He wasn't about to budge and they both knew that.  
Wizard looked at him, he tried to read his expression. He tried to find any hint of mockery or anything to show that he was joking. Nothing. Great...he was stuck.  
He doesn't really care  
You're ungrateful  
He'll make fun of you  
You're pathetic  
"Kid?" Fire Spirit asked again, gently flicking his forehead to snap him out of it.  
"You spaced out. What's going on?" He asked softly, concern filling his eyes. This definitely couldn't be good, the kid was always alone too. He was usually so hostile and forcing himself to be what he thought was mature. He had to break through the walls Wizard had put up and quickly  
Being up here was dangerous with whatever mindset Wizard may be in.  
He doesn't care   
He doesn't care  
He doesn't care  
Jump  
Do it  
Just jump  
Stop being a coward  
Jump.  
Wizard looked at him and slowly moved his hand away, never speaking. Never saying a single thing. Never looking at him. He looked off the edge and glanced in the direction of Fire Spirit before thinking.  
Jump.  
You're so close.  
Just do it.  
Wizard didn't really know what he was doing, the voices pounded louder and louder until he gave in. He caved, silence sounded so good and his own mind couldn't give him that. He needed to escape. And so he listened, he threw himself towards the edge and he started falling. He looked up as he did so, he looked at the moon again. Oh how pretty it was...how amazing she was..  
I don't want to die  
I don't want to die  
I don't want to die  
Oh no  
Oh no  
Please  
I don't want to die  
Please help..  
I don't want to die  
I don't want to d-  
His thoughts and silent cries for help were interrupted by something. He felt something, he felt warmth... there was no pain. He wasn't in pain. Maybe he had really died..maybe he was in hell. He deserved that after all, it would explain the sudden heat. Maybe he would die when he opened his eyes. He opened his eyes, he was mid air, just about halfway below the top of the clock tower. That made sense, he had jumped and he was falling. He was falling. Now he was just floating...He was confused before realising someone had caught him. He glanced around and noticed Fire Spirit, he looked rather panicked as he tightly held Wizard close. He refused to loosen his grip, terrified with one wrong slip he'd let the kid fall to his death. He couldn't do that. Wizard meant a lot to him and he was dying when Fire Spirit said he was, not when Wizard decided.  
"Fuck...kid...come on." He held him tighter as he flew to a nearby abandoned library, one Wizard had claimed as his home. It was quite homey, it was dusty but that didn't bother the young Wizard. It was safe and had books, so many books and that's what kept him content.  
He's angry at you  
He's going to hurt you  
You idiot  
You can't even kill yourself correctly  
What a waste of space  
Wizard started to cry again, he gripped onto Fire Spirit and buried his head in his armour. His mature facade breaking away as he did so, he wasn't some cold smart wizard. He was a kid who had emotions. His entire body started to shake as he continued to break down. Floods of tears ran from his eyes as he hugged Fire Spirit tighter. Wizard didn't know what he was doing but everything hurt so much, the tears kept coming. Despite how dehydrated he felt and the pounding headache he had. They just kept coming.  
"G-geez kid... that's a lot of tears for such a small body-" Fire Spirit laughed nervously before tensing when Wizard started crying harder… right...maybe that wasn't the best thing to say to a suicidal kid. Sure he had good intentions..but now wasn't the time for jokes, he knew that. Fire Spirit sighed softly and gently laid him down in his bed, he looked at him with a sympathetic look and sat by him. He gently rubbed his back in a circular motion, he wasn't saying anything. He wasn't getting angry and lecturing him because he knew how it felt. He'd been there so many times and he had no one to turn to, but he refused to let Wizard suffer like that. No one deserved that and especially not a kid. He glanced around at the library, it was quite homey. Sure he didn't get why Wizard was so obsessed with books, they were long and boring...but whatever kept him happy. He glanced back at Wizard who had curled up into a ball at this point, he held a stuffed teddy close and was crying into it. He looked so vulnerable, which truly was a rare sight for the snappy wizard.  
Fire Spirit hesitated, he wanted to speak. To say something. But he knew now wasn't the time, it was late and Wizard was most definitely tired now. He made a water bottle appear with the flick of his staff and glanced back at Wizard, he gently took the wizard's hat off and hung it up.  
"May I have your scarf? It'll help you breathe better, you can have this water and we'll do a tradesies" Fire Spirit joked softly and held his hand out for the scarf.  
Wizard slowly lifted his head from the teddy, his face was red and puffy. He sniffled and hesitated, he glanced at the water and his dehydration was starting to get to him. As well as the pounding headache of course. He sighed quietly and slowly took his scarf off, Fire Spirit never rushed him though. He stood there patiently with a gentle smile until he was handed the scarf. He hung it up next to the hat.  
"Water…" Wizard said weakly and reached for the bottle desperately, held the teddy close in the crook of his other arm.  
Fire Spirit blinked in confusion before realising and handing him the water.  
"Oh shoot sorry bud" he apologised and sat back down by him.  
Wizard quickly downed the water when he was given it and put the bottle on the floor, not caring so much for making his 'room' tidy. He sniffled and curled back up, holding his teddy close and pulling his blanket close.  
Fire Spirit looked at him and sighed softly  
"Kid..?" He asked softly, his tone was nothing but gentle  
"Mm..?" Wizard barely responded, it wasn't that he didn't care. But he just didn't feel like talking, he didn't feel like doing anything. He was upset and rather exhausted, understandably.  
"Can I stay the night here? If that's alright?" He asked and tilted his head, he would stay outside if it was a no. No way in hell was he leaving Wizard alone after tonight.  
"mm.." Wizard murmured and nodded slightly, he hugged his teddy tighter and closed his eyes tightly.  
Fire Spirit glanced at Wizard and moved to sit next to him before laying down  
"I'm gonna do something weird kid alright? If you want me to move just tell me and I will instantly" Fire Spirit gently warned before wrapping his arms around Wizard and hugging him. Not too tight just in case Wizard didn't like that.  
"Want me to move?" Fire Spirit asked, glancing at Wizard, fully prepared to move.  
Wizard shook his head and snuggled closer towards him before giving in and hugging him back.  
"Stay... please.." he begged him, hugging him tighter as tears filled his eyes.   
Fire Spirit nodded and rubbed his back, he smiled softly and held him close.  
"Of course kid..now get some rest eh..? We'll talk in the morning." Fire Spirit said softly before pulling the blanket up to Wizard's neck and chuckling quietly.


End file.
